Triple the Insanity, Triple the Fun
by AkiaraSnofox
Summary: Reader x Harley Quinn x the Joker You just got saved by Harley Quinn from Batman and the Joker shows up. Let's see how you fair against his hotness.
1. Chapter 1 Meeting the Joker

I was walking down the dark and damp streets of Gotham. I had just been discharged from the hospital, with a few bruised ribs and a cut on my back that will most likely scar. I was one out of ten casualties from the latest Batman and Joker showdown, it it hadn't been Harley Quinn I would be dead. I would personally side with the Joker and Harley Quinn anyway. I sighed thinking about the Joker. _His hair, his smile, his laugh, and oh my gunpowder it's Harley Quinn._

"Hey Suga, how you doing?" Harley asked. "I'm fine, Miss Quinn." I replied. "Just call me Harley, Suga. And don't tell Puddin' I saved you from Batsy. Next time don't dress up like me for a party." Harley said while giggling. "Yes, Miss H." I replied, blushing a deep crimson. I heard my name being called and turned around to see who it was. Hammers and pistols it's Batman. "Stay away from her Harley, you cant have her." he demanded. Oh hell no, he did not just talk about me like I wasn't there. How dare he have the audacity to act like my father after putting me in the hospital and giving me a scar. "Listen here, **Mister I-save-the-city-worship-me** , I can go with who I want, when I want, and where I want. stay out of it. You..." I screamed at him.

"Looky what we got here, it's Batsy." A deep voice sounded from behind me, sending shivers down my spine. "Joker! I thought you would have crawled back to your home already." Batman yelled at Joker. "Hey! Don't yell at Mista J, you overgrown flying rodent!" Harley and I yelled at the same time. We looked at each other and started giggling. Batman sent to grab me and Harley grabbed her pistol as I grabbed Joker's, and pointed them at Batman. "Dont touch me asshole. Take your tights wearing ass back to your cave and leave me alone." I growled at him. Joker started laughing. " You better listen to her, I don't control this one." Joker said smiling. Harley looked at me and smirked. "Suga give Mista J back his pistol and stand behind him." Harley ordered me. "Yes Miss H." I said as I gave Joker back his gun and stood behind him.

Joker patted my head. "Good girl. Now kneel." Joker ordered me. "Yes, Mister J." I replied as I knelt with my head down. "Oh no, Suga, lift your head." Joker said. I lifted my head and gasped. there was Joker with his shirt off, smirking. ' _Oh sweet gunpowder, what have I gotten myself into?'_ I thought to myself.


	2. Chapter 2 Going Home With Joker

_'oh my gun powder his muscles!'_ I thought to myself, almost drooling. Harley looked at me knowingly, and smirked. I blushed and tried to hide my face. I screamed out in pain as I bent to far. Joker stopped mid-step and turned his head to look at me. Harley came running over to look at my back. I started tearing up and my vision became cloudy. _'great what did I do to myself this time?_ ' I asked myself.

"oh Puddin her back opened again." Harley said frantically. "what do you mean **AGAIN**?" Joker hissed. "well..." Harley hesitated to said. "Harley Quinn you better tell me. don't make Daddy mad." he warned. "well Batman attacked Suga, because she was dressed like me. he cut open her back and gave her a few bruised ribs. I think she bent to far and reopened the wound." Harley explained in a rush. " **HE WHAT**?" J yelled, seething.

I sniffled and laid my head down on J's shoulder, feeling drained. "take me home, please." I asked tiredly. "where do you live Suga?" Harley asked. " I don't have one." I replied blushing. "well now you do. Harley go get the car." J ordered. " yes Mista J." Harley replied, mock saluting. Harley ran off down the street as J gently set me down on my feet. "now let Daddy see your back Suga." J ordered, leaving no room for argument. I turned around and showed him my back. J lifted his shirt off my back, mindful of the drying blood around the wound. " It's definitely going to scar, but I can fix that right up. I can..." "NO!" I interrupted, J looked a little mad but I didn't care. " I'm keeping it, I can use it to split a face." I explained.

" what do you mean Suga?" J asked, confused. " with yours and Harley's permission, I was going to have one side tattooed as your face and the other side Harley's face." I told J, blushing. " you can do that Suga, do you want it stitched or burned?" J asked me. " burned, it heals faster and looker cooler." I said, smiling. a purple Lamborghini skidded to a halt next to us. " hiya Puddin, Suga. Batsy is on the move. he put the word out on Suga, she's a wanted criminal now." Harley giggled. " top hats and laughing clowns, he's an asshole." I seethed.

 _' what am I gonna do now?'_ I thought to myself.


	3. Chapter 3 Sucker For Pain

We pulled up to J's club, and walked in. Well Harley and J walked in, I was being carried on J's back. The music stopped, people stared and then started cheering. Frost swiftly walked up to us, and sneered at me. "Harley wasn't enough that you had to go and get a replica?" Frost asked venomously. "oh shut up you dickhead. go down to the local pharmacy and ask for a thing called Viagra. it will help you take the gun out of your frosty ass and go fuck yourself." I hissed at him. J growled and pushed past him. people cheered louder. I turned my head just in time to see Harley roundhouse kick Frost in the jaw. "She's a victim of Batsy. leave her the hell alone." Harley demanded punching him in the face. "he will kill you girl." he warned me. I smirkedd at him. " I'm a sucker for pain.." I reported giggling. " that's right Suga, put him in his place." Harley cheered.

J carefully walked up the stairs. " bring me the brander and the tattoo kit, i have work to do." J ordered. no one made a move to the things he wanted. "NOW! then leave." J seethed. "right away Bossman." Frost replied running to get said items. "now don't move Suga, or you'll make Daddy mad." J warned me. I nodded my head he walked off and Harley stepped between my legs. " let's get this shirt off shall we?" she asked unbuttoning J's shirt. I moved my arms as far as I could to help get the shirt off. when it came off Harley suddenly kissed me as fire licked at my back, like a starving dog. I heard J groan as I wrapped my arms around Harley, deepening the kiss. I moaned as the tattoo gun started up and I felt the wonderful pain of my tattoo be started. I growled as the door was opened. "GET OUT!" J yelled as I grabbed Harley's gun and shot the man in the shoulder. " don't fuck with my fun time, asswipe." I hissed at the man, opening my eyes. Harley looked at me with wide eyes and I snickered. " Honeybun, I ain't all puppies and kittens, I kill for fun. the only reason Batsy hasn't caught me is because I have split personas. you can call me Shadowkissed." I explained smirking. "Puddin can we keep her?" Harley asked squealing. "now Harls, she's not a toy." J said. "nope, I'm a pet. Woof! Woof!" I giggled. "see Frost this is why you don't piss people off. you never know when you'll get shot." J exclaimed laughing. 'Sweet machine guns, I love his laugh.' I thought to myself.

'This is gonna be fun.' I sighed in content.


	4. AN 1

I work from 7am to 3 pm the next fives days so I'll be writing while on break and hopefully I will have chapter 4 posted by Friday. Thank you all for your support and please continue reading.


	5. Chapter 4 Heathens

people heard the gunshots and cheered. "free drinks for everyone." J yelled out. the music blasted and people cheered louder. the hum of the tattoo gun started up again.

5 hours later...

"alright Suga you're all done." J told me grinning at his work. I was about reply when my cellphone started ringing. " Where's your phone at Suga?" Harley asked curios as to how I carried one. " Inner left ankle." I replied spreading my legs a little more. Harley slid down and I moaned as she bit my inner thigh. "Girls behave youselves." J groaned. Harley and I giggled. "Hello House of Clowns, this is Queen. How many do you need dead?" I asked as soon as Harley handed me the phone. "Shadow I'm going to kill you!" Ivy hissed through the phone. " Ah , did you like my present?" I asked giggling. "No I did it, now return my saplings or Moonbane gets hurt." Ivy threatened. I growled dangerously. "You touch one hair on him I will burn every single plant on this side of the planet." I threatened. Ivy went to say something, " or I could let tasha call waller. You know she won't have any qualms about it." I growled warning.

Harley gasped at waller's name." how do you know that bitch?" Harley asked. I held up my finger. "Bring Bane to the King and Queen of Gotham's club and you can have your plants." I told Ivy. " I am already on my way." Ivy informed me. "God you're so bad. who is Moonbane? and how do you know Waller?" Harley fired question after question. "Thank you Honeybun, and Moonbane is my little brother. Tasha, my goody-goody persona, met Waller a while back. I convinced her to send June near the cave that held Enchantress. I told Waller where to find her heart and the idol containing her brother. I was the one that suggested the formation of Task Force X, or as Deadshot calls it the Suicide Squad. I also cave Frosty Ass the information about you and how to get to you." I replied smiling." you almost got my Puddin killed!" Harley screamed and stabbed me with her knife. " she's also the one who saved me!" J yelled smacking the knife out of Harley's hand. I gasped trying to breath. " Suga I'm so sorry!" Harley said crying. Frost came running in and skidded to a halt. "Shit!" Frost yelled running down the stairs. "Where the hell is Moonbane?" Frost yelled over the music. Bane ran up holding his chest. "Where is she?" Bane growled. "upstairs and hurry up." Frost replied rushing Bane up the stairs. Bane ran up the stairs and busted through the door.

"What the hell have you done?" Bane roared, running up to me. Bane cut his hand and pushed the hands of Harley and I out of the way to let his blood flow into the wound. "I didn't mean to." Harley said crying. Bane went to attack Harley and three things happened. One J went to attack bane, two I took a deep breath, and three I threw a knife at bane's foot making him trip. "Don't touch my Honeybun, she didn't know. Not behave yourself I didn't raise you to act like a rabid animal." I scolded Bane. "Sorry , Miss Harley and sis." Bane apologized. J smacked Bane across the back of the head and I giggled. Hardly ran and hugged me.

 _'All my friends are heathens, what have I got myself into now?'_ I sighed.


	6. Chapter 5 Gansta

After everyone calmed down I used my nifty power of changing my appearance. I now had midnight black hair with silver streaks, and wearing leather pants, a blood red corset, and black and red 5 inch heals. "damn Suga, you look fuckable." Harley growled suggestively. I giggled as I headed downstairs. I altered my corset to show off my tattoo. I put my hair up and climbed into Harley's cage. "Suga is gonna put on a sow Puddin." Harley informed J. I grabbed ahold of the change as _**'Gansta by Kehlani'**_ started playing. the base was pumping through the club as I swung my hips side-to-side to the beat. people started crowding around the cage and when they seen my tattoo they went wide. they stated rocking the cage and trying to get to me. " Mister J, HoneyBun, help please!" I called out desperately. "Puddin Suga is in trouble, they have gone wild!" Harley called out franticly running down the stairs.

Harley and J ran onto the dance floor trying to reach me. Frost yelled at people as he pushed his way to me. J finally made it to me and took me from a man holding me. "Don't touch what doesn't belong to you." J growled at the man. Harley punched he man that was holding me. "You see that tattoo?" Harley asked everyone nodded their head. " That means she belongs to Mista J and I. IN other words, don't fuck with her or her brother or you die." Harley threatened. the man that was holding me gulped. "Daddy!" I whined getting J's attention. "yes Princess?" J asked me. "that man touched me where he shouldn't have." I exclaimed pointing to the man.

"HE DID WHAT? Where at Princess?" J growled pissed off. " he touched me here Daddy." I moaned as I put one of J's hands on my tit and the other on my ass. Harley grabbed the man before he could leave the club."You touched what is ours, now you pay a price." Harley growled at the man. " Please Mr. Joker, I didn't know she was yours!" the man exclaimed. " it doesn't matter, you touched our Princess. Do you even know her name?" J asked the man. he shook his head and J groaned in frustration. "Her name is Shadowkissed." J informed everyone. the people around us gasped and took a step back.

"you mean to tell us that she..." the man paused and pointed me," is Shadowkissed, the Queen of The House of Clowns?" he asked J. "Daddy, they're staring at me and I don't like it." I whined. J growled at everyone and people stopped staring. Bane stepped up. "that is correct she is Queen of The house of Clowns, just like I'm the King. I'm also her brother." Bane explained smirking. murmurs filled the club. "please give me a chance?" the man begged. "Honey what's..." a woman started to ask after seeing her husband kneeling on the floor. "What the hell did you do now?" she hissed, folding her arms atop her swollen stomach. I wiggled out of J's arms and walked over the woman. "please leave her and the child out of it, they have nothing to do with this." the man begged. "can I feel?" I asked the woman. "of course you can, she loves the attention." the woman replied.

I squealed happily and laid my hands on her stomach gently. "how are things going Dareen?" I asked her." everything is going good except his dumbass." Dareen replied. "Oh so he's the beating and cheating assmunch you wanted to get away from?" I asked pointing to the man. she sighed. "yes but everything I try fails and he hits me." she replied on the verge of tears. I held my hand out for her gun and she handed it to me. I walked over to the man. "Well John, it seems that your time has run out." I said smiling. I shot him in the left leg. "That's for hitting your wife." I shot him in the other leg. "that's for hitting a pregnant woman." I shot him in both shoulders. "That's for touching me." I hissed smiling as I got down to his level. I punched him in the leg finally making him scream in pain. "an d this is for begging, you know I hate begging especially since its my aunt you're hitting asshole." I growled and shot him in the head.

"Frosty Ass!" yelled out. "yes Miss Shadow?" Frost asked running up to me. " get this scum out of here, its marring the club's image." I replied standing back up. "right away Miss Shadow." Frost replied grabbing the body off the floor and dragging it away. I smiled at the blood stain and the blood on me. I made my way upstairs humming happily with my aunt following behind me.

 _' The Red Queen is back.'_ was the thought that went through everyone's mind with a shudder.


	7. AN 2

I work the next three days and in the process of writing chapter 6 Know better and if you haven't figured it out im using the names from the Suicide Squad album, im not that good at smut but next chapter im gonna try to make it alittle steamy. Until next time my Kings and Queens.


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